Can't you hear my heartbeat?

boys will be boys

An accident of colors

An accident of colors.

How beautiful.

The truth about life.

The truth about life.

You are highly praised when you are not there any more.
You were slammed so hard while you were alive.
We wish he could hear our praise, 
we wish he could feel our love, 
we wish he was listening to all the good words we have, 
we wish he could see our tears...

How sad that a person is worth praising only when he is gone.

He

He is one of the first of my childhood memories.

Everyday I would hear this teachings after the news on TV. 

And I wondered how could one person can have so many thoughts to teach us.

Not feeling of him as a King, I feel so familiar with him although  I have never met the real him.

He is like a big tree or a shelter or a father that makes me feel safe everyday and when there was bloodshed... I know he would do something when necessary.

I was not so excited about 60th Anniversary celebrations, I didn't care about the great celebration itself, wasn't there either in front of TV or at the venue. I didn't think that it is important. I still remember I was at the office preparing a presentation. I just sent him my best wishes and felt thankful I was born in his time.

I always think being born royal is worse than being born ordinary people like me. You have to sacrifice a lot if you want to be a good royal.

He does not need be good to us. He does not need be bad either. He could choose to be ignorant.

But he has been a good King. And if he weren't a King, as a person, he would be a good person.

What more can we expect from a person? 

Why do we have to expect so much from him whilst he has been giving us more than we have rights to expect from a person?

So many sad songs out there for my sad feelings, but there is no such song for this broken heart at this moment. I'm hurt Thais fight each other and we are breaking his heart.

I could have been on that train... or not.

I met this lady at the Kindertransport statue at Liverpool Street Station.

She was sitting in front of the statue and being filmed by her middle-aged son.

It took a while and I wonder she must have some horrific memories about the Holocaust and Kindertransport when she was a small girl.

Her gesture, sitting still in sunshine, her eyes kept looking at these metal children, and then gently touched the word 'Vienna' made me ask her, "Were you on that train?"

She replied, "I was lucky. I have a family here. But yes yes I could have been on that train... or not". Looking deep in her eyes, I feel the pain of an 80-year-old baby who had to unwillingly witness the most horrific event that left the scars to millions of people.

And the last words she said to me was, 'Thank you'.

Always speechless

The Holocaust Exhibition, Imperial War Museum

I always get speechless about the holocaust.

Having seen drawings and poems of a Jewish girl for her German friend in a concentration camp hurts.

A walk in Auschwitz paralyzed me.

Think about the quote "The world is divided into places where they (Jewish people) cannot live and places into which they cannot enter" over and over.

And learn from what Heinrich Heine said, "Where one burns books, one will, in the end, burn people".

For the past week, I feel that the tone of the voice of Thaksin from the telespeech sounds similar to Adolf Hitler. And I despises what he does and what he says. And I take side, the opposite side to him and believe that eventually in the end of his life, it would be as catastrophic as how Hitler and his dickhead acquaintances ended their lives.

Let the karma do it job.

Why we human never learn to learn from the past?

And how can some people be so power hungry?

In the end, we cannot take anything with us.

Such a fool.

Dancing in Spring

My walk in Chepstow Villas.

What a lovely thought that someone put this couple to dance in blooming flowers.

Love grey

My favorite color.

Broken keyboard is like an old lady's falling teeth.

And I wonder the alphabets I statically use the most is J & K ?

The collapse of traffic light

Bond Street

The traffic light was hit by a long trailer trying to turn left and it couldn't resist the gravity any more.

Make it clear

Soho

From a front door of a house in SOHO. They make it clear, "No Prostitutes Here".

Fed up with the door knocks or sense of humour?

Innocence

at La Fromagerie

How innocent she is. She fed these goats with sugar cubes. That would make delicious goat cheese.

A Train & Relationship

on Heathrow Connect. This would make a good vignette. 

A train is like a relationship

what if I was in this bogie, and you were in another one.

what if I was heading West but you just decided you want to head East?

what if we met and chatted in this train but you said you're tired and you want get off before me?

what if I want to go to next stations, but you don't want to go anywhere else but here?

what if we were once the same line but at that point one day we have to go parallel? 

The Hug

From Soul i-D exhibition

I love hugging and being hugged.

Angels

My mom told me since I was young she believes in guardian angels, those who protect her when something bad is going to happen. It can be a sort of unseen energy or good people who happen to come to help at the right time. I thought it was bullshit but the older I am, the more I believe in such things and feel thankful for having guardian angels around me to always keep me out of trouble.

> A drug-crazed guy on the basement climbed up and knocked my window at 4 am with two glasses of champagne. 

My angel was my elementary friend who came back from a night out with me and made me feel safe by talking peace with that guy. Although we got so scared in the end because the dickhead was swearing at us like he was gonna eat our flesh.

> I sent my passport to request for visa on Friday. My parents just landed Monday night to stay with me here for a month. Tuesday, my housekeeper received a call from the Thai Embassy in London that my passport is with them. I thought, "such a curious case... I need a Sherlock Holmes" Wednesday, my dad received a call he hadn't answered for a couple of times and it was a call from the Thai embassy informing us that my lost passport is with them. It was sent to them Tuesday evening. On a bus to the embassy, I was frustrated and wondering how that happened. Where are other documents? Did it come with the passport? And why 400 pounds was taken out of my bank account this morning for the visa fee? When I got there, the only thing I received is my passport only. With the help from the embassy, they gave me an official letter as a confirmation that what they got is the passport, with no other documents. My parents and I then went to the Home Office in Croydon. The letter was my passport to get in the office unless anybody with no appointment can get in. Meeting a gentle officer, he then contacted the Sheffield office and checked whether they have received other documents which are my MA certificate, two letters from the University and my personal bank statements. Fortunately, they have received it and I was told that the officer there told him they were aware that there was something wrong with packet. I then passed my passport to the officer and they will post it to the Sheffield office. Such a case. Really strange case. But I feel so thankful that my dear passport came back to me. Thank you my angels: my housekeeper p'Uan who lets me know the news, my parents who came just in time with relaxing attitude,  a person who posted it to the embassy, all helpful officers at the Thai embassy who understood how frustrated I was, a generous officer at Home Office... all angels, thank you all energy force that drove things to happen at the right time and the right place.. I thought it wasn't right at first but finally I feel thankful and thank you my angels, both seen and unseen, I'm going to treat you well.

men / constructivism

After this exhibition, during Saturday afternoon conversation on relationship, a new crush, flirting, love, and lust at TATE cafe, my friends and I came up with the observation that men are like constructivism - like those straight lines drawn by a ruler on a canvas.

Love these insights

Psychology Today, February 2009

Insights: Navigating Wall Streets Is More of a Mind Game than Ever by Sadia Latifi

MONOPOLY MONEY

How did we enter financial freefail?

Here's one contribution. People cheat more when they aren't dealing with real money.

Abstractions - whether it's a poker chip or a stock option - make people more comfortable with fudging the rules. Start trading fancy derivatives and your morals just might come unmoored.

so true

So true about St Martins!

From 107 Charing Cross Road by Murray Healy, LOVE magazine

...This is why Kappo loves the place. 'You think it's a shitty old rundown building, freezing cold, with windows don't close properly, noise and dust, whatever. But no one is precious about this place. And because you're not precious about it, you use it...'

oh i love it

i love how Hanna Hanra beautifully describes how 1960s was like in i-D March 2009 sooo much.

"There was something happening in London, the sixties were swinging.
All along the watchtower and all down the Kings Road, the youths were marking their territory with mini's, midi's and maxi's, the contraceptive pill was making it ok to share some of the loving feeling that was in the air. No longer was being a teenager a grey area. The times, they were a changing and culture needed a poster pin up to become the face of generation."